My day on the PAHM: 10 November 2026

One moment from a morning session with Ayu, in my own words. Where it sat on the map is at the end.

My son plays a sport I played in my own school days. When he plays something else, his performance does not create any fantasy in me. With this one, it does. I think it comes from my own time playing it.

There were moments when he did not do well, and I told myself in that moment: this is not his choice. This is what I want.

So there is nothing to be disappointed about. Just stick to the process. My part is to make sure the basics are right; the rest will come when it comes.

I also noticed I was hiddenly expecting him to perform, and that expectation created unnecessary stress. Again, that is my expectation, not his. I need to let him just play.

Where it sat

Which of these does your mind visit most? See your mind score - free.

The picture of how he would perform was Future + Likes (anticipation), and it was fed by the past: my own days playing the same game, Past + Likes (nostalgia). When the picture did not happen, the next stop on the map would have been disappointment, Present + Dislikes. Seeing whose wanting it was stopped it there. In the book's account, the ego guards a story of "me and mine", and a child's performance can quietly become part of that story.

One thing to try

What this does not do

This post uses the Present Attention and Happiness Matrix, the author's own model from The Return of Attention. It describes experience, not a diagnosis. How the matrix works.

This is one moment from one person's practice, not advice on parenting and not a diagnosis. If low mood has lasted two weeks or more, if you have lost interest in things you used to enjoy, or if you have thoughts of harming yourself, a doctor or a crisis line is the right first conversation.